Sex and Us

Now now, there has been such a hue and cry over the MMS about which we all know. There were many views given by many so called experts about how the society is degrading and how the values have come down, how the west has influenced us, how the media has blown up a small issue. Here you have one more view from one more self proclaimed expert.

Leaving all that aside and coming back to the issue at hand, now what is the issue at hand?
Is the issue the Indian Media, since it has blown up a small issue? Shall we blame the kids involved? Or the mobile phones? Or MTV? To blame the Indian media would not be fair, as such an issue would have made news anywhere in the world. The question I have is cant we approach the issue without the blame game?

I would say that all that has happened is good and such an incident has been long overdue. I see many who are ready to mash me, but hold on, please let me proceed further. I would say that, we as a society are responsible for this. Not many may agree with me, but let me present my view.Sex is a taboo word in our lexicon, when ever we have to refer "that" we always refer "it" to as "that", "act" "it" or innumerable ways but the plain simple word 'sex'. Now we all will agree that sex is a gift of nature as any other thing, then why treat it as if it’s the evil of all the things in the world. The need for sex is as natural as the need for food, and other amenities, then why do we have this derogatory attitude towards sex.

There was this parent who was ranting about the decline in values, and stuff like that; I asked him what it that is exactly troubling him. It seems he is worried about his teenage daughter, what with all the things that are going around. I asked him one simple question, have you ever discussed this with your daughter. You should see the horror on his face as if i committed a blasphemy, "How can I talk this with my daughter?". This is how most of the parents react to my question. Tell me is it wrong to talk to our children about sex. Is it wrong if we discuss with them the "secret" behind their birth?

Where am I heading? What is connection between the MMS incident and what I am talking about? I am not trying to address the one incident that has spilled out but am addressing the larger issue of adolescent sex.

Children are much curious, inquisitive in nature; we all know that it’s next to impossible to bind them. By virtue of being humans we tend to explore the restricted. By treating sex as a taboo we are fueling the inquisitiveness of these young minds; we are responsible for making them explore more about sex. This process of exploration is what the kids in the video were a part of. Try answering this, how many parents do you know who discuss sex with their children. My parents never talked to me about that, and I know many of my friends parents never talked to them. When we friends talk about the issues on sex, it’s in hush - hush tone. And there are very few girls with whom I can discuss the topic of sex. This I have observed in people from all walks of life irrespective of education, social status, religious orientation etc.

Now is it the fault of the child if he is trying to find out about sex. Isn't the onus upon us to help them in this regard? There are some so called co-ed schools where boys and girls cannot talk. Whom are we shaping by such mindless rules? I have no doubt these children will have problems in handling the opposite sex in their future. I hear parents term this school as a good school. God save the world from the peeping toms that they produce.

The solution lies with us, the parents, teachers and elder siblings to educate the younger ones. Parents should take the responsibility of the educating the children by providing necessary material, by answering any/all queries that the child has. Rather than trying to curb the sexual freedom, empower them with the knowledge and let them be the best judge of whether they want to get involved in physical relationship at that age. This I am sure is much better than, they performing some clandestine acts which may harm them and others.

My only request before I end this piece is to remind you that knowledge is power and let the children be empowered with the knowledge about sex .